A couple months ago I went to a funeral, and as I went up to the front to pay my respects my eyes shifted to a set of books next to the person’s ashes. Questions started to emerge. What are they about? Why are they so significant that they are placed there to remember them? Recently, these books came into my possession. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by don Miguel Ruiz, a book describing the Toltecs’ way of living. I recommend reading it because it goes into detail of each agreement and it is pretty easy to read. This is what I gathered from each:
“Be Impeccable With Your Word”
To be impeccable with your word is to speak without sin. Beginning with how you speak to others, speaking to people with ill intent or malice will hurt you more than you think. To say something harmful to someone fills you both with hate, causing unnecessary tension in a relationship. In most cases, you are not saying something harmful because they deserve it, but because you are hurt. Ruiz describes the words you use as “magic” that can cast spells with hatred. These spells add up, and make people filled with sorrow and resentment.
“Don’t Take Anything Personally”
This is the agreement I myself find most difficult to practice. Not taking anything personally is understanding that the words people use against you are not necessarily because of you, but because everyone lives in their own “dream” (Ruiz uses the concept of dreams a lot, and it is a very interesting perspective!) To take something personally is to agree, and to feed off their insecurities, making them your own.
“Don’t Make Assumptions”
Again, another hard one! Ruiz agrees that it is difficult, because people innately want to know everything. When we don’t know, we make assumptions to fill in the gaps. And when we make assumptions, we start to take things personally. Assuming in any relationship could end up being the reason for its downfall. To prevent assumptions, if you don’t understand, ask! Then you will know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
“Always Do Your Best”
Alright, they all are hard to do, but that’s the beauty of it! Putting the effort and doing your best is what really gives you this new mindset. Just do your best; nothing more, nothing less. Of course you will end up taking something personally, but as long as you can realize that you did and say “I can do better next time”, you have done your best.
This was just a brief summary of each agreement. The book by Ruiz goes into more detail, and is jam packed with advice and passion. So, if you are looking for a quick read, and found this article interesting, I recommend reading it!
